A new path

I woke, a chuffin’ headache and a grumble in my stomach.  Who knew how many days it was since I last ‘ad a meal or a stiff drink!

I happen to find meself staring down a band o’ marauding chaos fanatics.  The ground around ’em had just recently been dusted with snow an’ the air smelt crisp even with their presence.  I’m in the mountains?  Where’d they send me?

This small group ‘adn’t noticed me comin’, so I did me best not to let ’em notice me going.  They weren’t the brightest of bands, looked to be scavengers and murderers mainly.  They ‘ad several chests of valuables, but the richest thing among the lot was a keg o’ Bugman’s XXXXX!  I couldn’t let such a prize fall to enemy ‘ands.  A keg o’ Bugman’s was worth at least five dwarves.  I ‘ad to do somethin’.

I dropped behind one of the pillars near the portal I ‘ad come out of, workin’ my way around their camp.  I managed to find a mound o’ carcasses to ‘ide behind until darkness better hid my presence.  The pile of bodies gave off a putrid stench, but I had to get that keg.  When their campfires ‘ad been lit, I moved quietly around them, from rock to chest, from chest to crate, and slowly in that manner made my way to the side of one o’ their tents.  The night air ‘ad a strong breeze that luckily carried away my scent.  When I finally closed in I was about six paces from the keg.  I needed a distraction to get me ‘ands on that keg.  Somethin’ that would ‘old their attention long enough for me to get away.

I rummaged around me, through some of the loot they had gathered, and I managed to find some silverware, plates, and bless Grungni a barrel o’ gunpowder!  I wedged the silverware into the cracks of the barrel, sharp ends stickin’ out.  I pried off the lid and tossed the rest inside.  All I ‘ad left were the plates, which were an assortment of pewter and finer dining styles.  I picked up a few and gave ’em a good heave into the darkness across the way.  The Chaos band reacted quickly to the smash and set off in that direction.  When I saw the opportunity I rolled the powder keg over to the campfire and through it on top.  I ‘ad maybe four minutes if I was lucky.  I hurried back to the keg of Bugman’s and slung my arms through the built in rope carry system all Bugman’s came equipped with and begin to run into the night.

I wasn’t sure when I’d run into someone, but I hoped for some civilized folk.  As much as I’d like to see some dwarves again I’d take the company of a manling, by Grungni’s backside I’d even enjoy the presence of the elves if I ‘ad to.
– Thrangis “The Red” Hammersmith

Where'd they send me?

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